An open letter to Facebook users and admins....

OK, Facebook Admins, I get it. There's some programing algorithm, far too complex for my sleep deprived mind, that monitors how many times a particular page has been reported and after 'x' number of times the page gets slated for deactivation. However; in the case of one of my favorite pages The Leaky B@@b, I urge you to reconsider. Why should Facebook grant The Leaky B@@b clemency? Let me tell you.

Upon finding out I was pregnant with baby number 2, I ravenously read every piece of information about pregnancy, childbirth, vaccinations, and breastfeeding in preparation for Charlie's arrival. In particular, breastfeeding, I learned is, was and always will be the hands-down, bar-none, best way to feed a baby...period. I also stumbled across a wonderfully warm and supportive community of like-minded Mommies. A community I wished I'd had 12 years ago when I gave up breastfeeding my first child after only two months. A place where success is sometimes measured in ounces or milliliters; sometimes in days, months and even years.

Charlie arrived and it seemed I had forgotten how difficult those first few weeks can be. My nipples were blistered and bled. Charlie was nursing sometimes every half hour, sometimes for three or four hours at a time. Who could I reach out to at three o'clock in the morning while the rest of the world slumbered? My Leakies. Somewhere in the world, there was another mother going through the exact same thing. Everywhere there were mother's who'd gone through the exact same thing and come out the other side with most of their sanity intact and willing to give encouragement to their Leaky sisters. Through nipple pain, engorgement, under-supply, over-supply, milk-blisters, reflux and even worries about what color my son's poop should be, there have been Leaky sisters at the ready to offer support, advice and more than a few laughs. We share lactation cookie recipes, anecdotes about our nurslings and most importantly our triumphs and sometimes, our heartbreaks.

The Leaky B@@b Facebook page was a refuge for women who were tired, lacked support in their real world communities and sometimes just needed a break. It was a resource for mother's looking for words of wisdom from those who came before them. It promotes making the healthiest choice for feeding our children from the start. Nothing obscene or hateful about that. If Facebook is supposed to be about connectivity and sharing, then TLB epitomized those ideals.

Leakies are not naive about those who might view the page and it's contents for other, less wholesome reasons. If anything we are more keenly aware of the existence of these types of individuals. We don't need any more protection from them, than we do going out into the real world. There's nothing indecent about the photos or information we share, frankly I've seen more cleavage on the Victoria Secret fan page. And yes, I am a fan of that page as well, because I'm aware that I can be both a lover and a mother; both sexy and nurturing. Where'd you think all these babies came from?

We, The Leakies, respectfully request that The Leaky B@@b Facebook page be reinstated. Furthermore, we ask that Facebook community members stop reporting the page. The content is what is normal and natural for mothers and babies and has been the world over, since man's beginning. Thank you.

Respectfully,

Kirstin A- Leaky for 13 weeks and counting....

9 weeks old...4 weeks late

I actually meant to post this a few weeks ago but got side-tracked....

Charlie went for his two month well baby appointment this week and his doctor gave us a prescription for reflux. This was something I suspected before but had dismissed due to his weight gain (he was 10.5 at last check and 12.1 at this one!) I'd already discovered his sensitivity to acidic foods. It was obvious when he stopped erupting after every feeding when we ran out of orange juice. Hopefully, the medicine will help him keep his meals down and make him more comfortable so he can sleep and be a more content baby. Also, it would be great if I didn't smell like sour milk all the time.

Things to do at two in the morning....

Once upon a time, in the not so distant past, I would've probably been hitching a ride to an after party, waiting in the drive thru at Taco Bell, or stumbling into my apartment to sleep off what will likely be a hangover for the record books. And while I thoroughly enjoyed my college years (all seven of them), I could kick myself for wasting such valuable time. I've since discovered how much more one can do with these unholy hours of the morning:

1) Laundry, and thinking of creative ways to get stains out of everything. With a new baby, there seems to be a never-ending source of clothes that have been peed, pooped, spit-up on, or any combination of the three.
2) Cruise Facebook. I now know way more about my friends than I ever cared to.
3) Watch documentaries on Netflix. I now know way more about making Q-Tips than I ever cared to.
4) Burn calories and loose 'baby weight' doing laps and/or dance through your house. This was sort of an accidental discovery as the was actually to get the baby to sleep.
5) Desperation dial. Similar to the drunk dial, these calls are made under the influence of sleep deprived dementia rather than alcohol.

This is, of course, not a comprehensive list. I'm sure to discover many more ways to be more productive at all hours of the night.

The Sweetest Gift- Christmas Edition

Mumbles and Charlie Christmas Morning

The Sweetest Gift

The first time I saw my chiropractor I was totally caught off guard when she hugged me at the door as I was leaving. I had never met her before and it seemed like such an unnatural thing to do. I mean, I don't hug my doctor or my tax accountant. I'm just not a hugger; but last week I saw an old friend and she gave me the best hug. It wasn't a hurried, half-hug. It was the type of hug that lets you know that you are cared for deeply.

Hi-ho, Hi-ho, It's Off to Work I Go...

I've been back at work, on a part-time basis, for a week now and several people have asked me how I feel about it. I think I probably feel the way a lot of Mom's who go back to work do; I'm torn. On the one hand, it feels great to have a reason to get out of bed and put on something other than sweats. On the other hand, I find myself putting off getting ready for work until the last minute, opting instead to spend as much time with Charlie as possible. Unfortunately, my job doesn't keep me busy enough to keep my mind from wandering back home. I text or call Micha, since he is Mr. Mom for the next few weeks, to see how things are going. The housework has fallen by the wayside because I want to spend my evenings with Charlie, Mumbles and Micha. It still feels very chaotic which is difficult for a creature of habit, such as myself. I think Charlie might be feeling the strain as well. We used to get 3 and 4 hour stretches of sleep out of him and now he's waking every two hours again, with just one long stretch of sleep. Micha, I think, is having a rough time too. He's made the comment more than once now, he understands how I felt all those times I called him desperate and crying. Despite not exactly being smooth sailing, I think my returning to work will be really good for us. It will force us to get into some kind of routine and I think that will help everyone, including Charlie feel more 'settled'.

Charlie is a two month old now and is suddenly a different baby. Instead of fussing during his wakeful periods, he now enjoys lying on his back, kicking and staring at the ceiling fan (somethings don't change). He's become even more vocal and has found is hands. I don't think he is aware yet that they are his hands, but he enjoys sucking on them none-the-less. He still doesn't sleep much (like I said, somethings don't change) but seems to be getting easier to get him to sleep. For several weeks after he was born, he still preferred to be swaddled but now hates it, even though his uncontrollable little arm often startles him awake. He prefers instead to have an arm free and we catch him rubbing his blanket or the satiny edge of his 'lovey'. We've gotten a few 'social smiles', not the one's attributed to gas but the one's that are in response to something like Dad singing a silly song or Mom smiling at him and sometimes, the fan. The sight of Mumbles also often elicits a grin.

The boy, his blankey and his bear

The Sweetest Gift- Thanksgiving Leftovers

Ok so I'm a week behind. I'm entitled!

I love going to my Grandma's for Thanksgiving, especially when everyone is there. The obvious thing to say here would be that I am grateful for my family. My sister, who often makes gifts for the one's she loves, showed me a gift she's actually making for someone else. Without giving too much away, the gift reminded me that while I didn't always do the right things, I wasn't completely horrible either. In not thinking back to those times, not only do I shut out painful memories, I shut out the really great ones too. Thanks Sis, for my sweetest gift.