The End of Our Breastfeeding Journey

I didn't even realize it until it was over. I sat down to fold some laundry and realized Charlie hadn't nursed in a couple of days. The next time I offered, he looked at me like I was crazy. There was no discomfort from engorgement or tantrum tears; it was just over. Around his first birthday, I'd stopped pumping at work. Pumping not being my favorite thing and being nearly impossible at the insane job I was working. Charlie still nursed when we were together; at night and on the weekends. But as the nights went on, Charlie nursed shorter and shorter periods of time until eventually he just didn't nurse at all.

Like with many things, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I am glad that, hormonally speaking, I am feeling normal again. I don't have to think about what I'm wearing and how easy or difficult it might be to nurse in. On the other hand, I miss the time bonding with Charlie. I miss getting to take a 'time-out' when family gatherings got too overwhelming or I'm just tired and want to rest.

When I was pregnant with Charlie, I decided that I was going to nurse him as long as possible, in order to give him the best possible start in life. My goal was to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months, which we very nearly met. Shortly before he was 6 months, we started giving him a bit of rice cereal to try keep him satisfied during the day when I wasn't able to pump enough to keep up with him. We marched on to 1 year, Charlie getting a few ounces of formula to supplement. Now at nearly 15 months, he eats what we eat and goes through about 1 gallon and a half of whole milk per week. Overall, I feel good about our journey together even though this part of it is over a little sooner than I would have wished.

Elvis Has Left the Building

Exhibit A

A few months ago, Micha brought home a kitten that his parents found in our boat which we keep in their barn. He's a cute tuxedo kitten named Elvis but he is a holy terror (see exhibit A).

A few weeks ago Elvis disappear and we haven't seen him since. We've contacted our local animal control and posted his info. on a lost pet website. Obviously it's pretty cold and we are concerned. My hope is that he's wandered into someone else's home and he's warm and safe, terrorizing someone else's house plants. In fact, I think he frequently tried to make himself at home at our very gracious neighbors house on several occasions.

At any rate, if you've seen our holy terror...er....cuddly kitty, please let us know.

Elvis is a black and white male. He's been neutered and has a tattoo to prove it on his underside. He likes to snuggle, poops in house plants and will terrorize your dog.

Long time, no see

After a long hiatus, I think I'm ready to start blogging again. It's been several months and much has happened. Most recently for me, job changes...yes two in a matter of 6 1/2 months. The company I was working for was looking at having to lay some people off and so I accepted another Administrative Assistant position...or so I thought. Needless to say, things did not work out but it was a good experience. I learned a lot about myself and what I was capable of but also, it reminded me about the kind of life I want to have. I realized how easy it is to be seduced into believing that more money brings more happiness. I can tell you, at least for me, it's not true. That job was exhausting and began to take over my life. I spent less and less time with my family and more time trying to unwind from my increasingly stressful days. All the while I kept telling myself that if I stuck it out, the payoff would be worth it. Someday, I'd have a better position within the company, making more money. It satisfied the ambitious side of me that wants to compete and be professionally successful. I found myself looking at bigger houses and nicer cars. I had forgotten that none of those things would make me happy or truly fulfill me.

So I am working again as Administrative Assistant. The work is easy but there's plenty of it. I leave at the end of everyday and my work stays at work. I'm never late picking up Charlie and Micha and Mumbles are starting to recognize me again. A ton has happened. Charlie turned one, Mumbles whacked off all her hair, we got a new kitty and lost the new kitty, and Micha graduated...again. I'll do my best to fill in the gaps....yeah, I picked the busiest time of year to pick up blogging again. Obviously, I'm delirious.

The New Deal

In an effort to maintain my sanity, I tried to LIG with regards to the housework. What ensued was total chaos and disaster. It came to the point that at the end of the day, I wanted to go anywhere except home so I decided on a New Deal. I divided up most of chores I felt could easily be handled by the other members of our little family and wrote them down on scraps of paper and each week we draw for 5 chores. Everyone is responsible for completing their chores in a timely fashion. Doesn't matter how, just that they get done. If anyone flakes out, the family member who completes the chore is to be compensated for their time. No yelling, no endless list of mundane household tasks eating up entire weekends and no mess, right?! Wrong! In the first two weeks, I thought "This is going great! I have free time on my hands and the house is not a disaster area!" By the end of the third week, I realized I was the only one getting their chores done, everything else was just...not.

Now, the tantrum I threw certainly doesn't compare to this, but I think I made my point without assaulting any remote controls. Taking the laundry basket down to the basement and leaving it for a week does not count as 'doing' the laundry, nor does leaving it in the machine, or in the basket. If I have to hunt for my work clothes at 6 am, I'm bound to be unhappy and if I have to look in the backyard, Lily the Destroyer will wind up 'missing'. Moving the piles of crap from one end of the table to the other end is not 'straightening up' and the sink is not a lay over to the dishwasher! It isn't just the inconvenience that such chaos creates that bothers me. To me, this little family is everything. I'd do anything for them but for months I'd been asking for help and what I needed was being pushed off to the side, to be gotten around to, if they had the time. I decided I was taking back my free time. Not all of it; that would be impossible but a few minutes at the end of the day, an hour a week, whatever I could get. But I wasn't going to live like a pig either and I told them so. For Micha's part, he knew it was coming and he did his best to make it up to me, even sending me flowers after I'd been the one yelling. Mumbles' was a different story. Had I raised a lazy and unsympathetic child? It's funny how, in those rare moments when we see our children's faults, we immediately blame ourselves. She did come to understand that I wasn't just upset about the chores, but about her attitude toward Micha and myself in general. I was hard on her despite knowing it's, in part, her age. Maybe the problem is we've chalked too much of the 'tween attitude up to being a 'phase'. No matter what age a child is, they are still part of a family and as a family, it's just as important to work together to support each other as it is to spend quality time together doing 'fun' things. I wonder how other families accomplish this?

While I've relaxed my housekeeping standards, I still need to have a place to come home to and not see every undone thing glaring me in the face the second I walk through the door. We are still drawing for chores each week and everyone is doing a better job of pitching in. Hopefully, this New Deal will lead to more time for us to do some fun things as a family. If the weather holds out, we're hoping to enjoy the May Day festivities this weekend at Lanesfield Historic Site.

Renew Me/ March for Babies

Friday, while I was washing my hands at work, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and said to myself "Jeez, I look frumpy." The best thing I could say about my hair was that is was clean. My t-shirt might as well have had the words "My son prefers my left boob to my right boob" printed right on it. I'd eaten three, yes three, donuts for breakfast so I was starting to look a little like I did around the time I was four months pregnant with Charlie. I'm certain I do not remember how to walk in heels and every piece of clothing I wear is now carefully selected based on machine washablility. I feel a bit like the Kansas landscape after a hard, cold winter: drab, dreary and in desperate need of some color.

Having done some remodeling on the outside (i.e. a snazzy new 'do and a new tattoo), it's time to renew my soul. Easter seems the perfect season for this lofty goal. Start small. A walk. A walk for something I am passionate about. Babies!! I am passionate about babies. So...

We're walking in the March for Babies!

Just when I needed it, a friend asked if I wanted to participate. Yes! Yes! YES! My babies were born full-term and healthy but other babies aren't as lucky and have to really fight from the very minute they are Earth-side to stay with us. I want to help support those babies and those families. If you are interested in helping, just click on the link above to find out how.

Merry marching, ya'll! ;)

Late for work

I'm late for work. What is my excuse? Flat tire? Dog got hit by a car? Stuck in traffic? Nope. I have an excuse way better than any. Every morning I am paralyzed by the snugly bundle next to me. By the warm softness of his skin and smell of his sweet breath. By the cherub face, chin tilted skyward and the satisfied smacks of his perfect Cupid's bow mouth. By the sound of his rhythmic breathing and the occasional small snore or tiny sigh. Even when he awakens, I'm captivated. His big, bright blue eyes examine my face and a tiny soft hand reaches out to grab my nose or hair. His small voice chirping 'ohs' and 'ahs'. Yes, I'm stricken, immobile and completely at his mercy.

My dog ate my flanges!

Time for a little humor.

If you follow my blog, know me personally or are friends with me via Facebook, then you are probably already familiar with our dog Lily the Destroyer. She is a very sweet looking, demon dog who eats everything. Underpants, Christmas ornaments, pacifiers, you name it- she has partially digested it. You may not be familiar with our other dog, Bruiser. Bruiser is a loving Min-Pin that we got back in 2005. He has a sweet disposition, loves everyone and really just needs a warm lap to snuggle in. Although he was notoriously hard to house break, he never chewed anything.

One very busy day about a month ago, I had set my pump up because I needed at least one more session to have enough milk to send with Charlie to the sitter the next day. Of course, life being what it is, I kept getting interrupted. Dinner time rolled around and I still hadn't sat down yet! We where eating out that particular evening so I left my stuff set up, we put Lily the Destroyer in her kennel (since she cannot be trusted) and headed out for some 1/2 priced burgers and beers. We returned fed and full and I walked up the stairs to get Charlie to bed and maybe finally, get a chance to pump. At the top of the stairs, to my horror, I saw my flanges mutilated on the the living room floor and my sweet Bruiser, curled up innocently on the back of the couch. "Bad dog!" I shouted. Ok, don't freak out, this is really not that bad because just the other day I bought new flanges and they were still in the bag. Upon entering my bedroom, I discovered the flanges where not the only pieces he'd chewed. Bruiser mangled the valves as well. I didn't have spare valves. I started to panic. Who sells pump parts and accessories and is open at 8 o'clock at night? Nowhere in my little hamlet, that is for sure. So I loaded the baby back up in the car and drove to Target. Thank heavens for Target.

Here's the lesson folks: Always keep spare pump parts on hand and remember that even the most well behaved pet cannot resist the sweet smell of 'Liquid Gold'!