She's Crafty

A quick plug for my sister's blog.

http://pinintended.blogspot.com

She's crafty like Martha Stewart but in a more likeable way.

The Wedding

I can't remember a time in my life when I thought about a big wedding with a big cake and a big dress. It's just not my style. In fact, at the point in our relationship that I knew Micha was the one for me, I was perfectly happy to live together forever, like Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. So when he asked me to marry him, I really had no idea what kind of wedding I might want. In fact, I've only been in one wedding and I hate going to them. Why on Earth would I torture the friends and family that I love, not to mention myself, with some over-done, over-priced affair? Then there is the waste. As a person who is trying to be more socially, environmentally and fiscally responsible, how can I justify spending thousands on a gown that will only be worn once and flowers that will wilt and die?

Am I spoiling the mood for you yet?

We decided the only sensible and sane thing to do was to elope. Well sort of. Not in that traditional sense where two young lovers run away to Vegas and, against the wishes of their parents, do something impulsive in the name of love. No, ours was a more premeditated elopement. We decided to go over Spring Break and found a planner, Aaron's Key West Weddings to take care of everything. Seriously, all I had to do was show up with my dress on. My sister graciously agreed to stay with the kids and the dogs while we were gone on our wedding/honeymoon. I went back and forth over whether or not to include the kids in the ceremony. While the event was significant for our family as a whole, I ultimately decided that Micha and I's wedding should be about Micha and I.

Plus, who takes their kids on their honeymoon?! Seriously...

Don't get me wrong; entrusting my big day to a total stranger was not without some panic inducing moments. I sweat the small stuff. I worried that the vows would be corny, the flowers would be carnations and the location would have gigantic plastic signs for snorkeling and scooter rentals in the background. I literally had nightmares about the airline losing or damaging my dress. I envisioned my hair looking big and ridiculous and my make-up rivaling Tammy Faye Baker's. In fact, everything was perfect and couldn't have been more relaxing or more wonderful.

Hair and Make-Up by Headlines Hair and Nails

We arrived in Fort Lauderdale late Tuesday night the dress in one piece and looking as pristine as the day I picked it up from alterations. Micha had rented a convertible so naturally we put the top down before we left the airport parking garage. We had no idea that it was raining. After we stopped to put the top down (we weren't the only one's pulled over) we made our way to the hotel. The next morning we set out for Key West, top down and as pale as the underside of a fish. We arrived in Key West as red as lobsters.


Micha also rented a scooter for the 5 days we'd be in Key West because he's a genius. Seriously, scooters and bicycles are the only reasonable way to get around the island. The streets are narrow and crowded and limited is an understatement when it comes to parking. The morning of the ceremony Aaron, our wedding guru, brought my bouquet by our cottage and drove us out to the spot where the ceremony would take place on Smathers Beach. He went through what the ceremony would be like, talked to us about our family and and shared a little local wisdom (We didn't pay parking on a public street the rest of the trip!). Then it was time for my hair and make-up and by the time I got back, I had enough time for a salad and glass of wine and then into my dress.

Just before the ceremony.

We arrived at the beach, met the photographer and took a few shots before getting started. At this point I was starving and ready for a beer which I mentioned to Aaron. A few more pictures and it was go time!

In the distance, some ominous looking clouds were blowing in. We finished the ceremony and the pictures just in time. As we left the sky opened up and it began to pour. There were two other weddings taking place on the beach at the time.

 

 

The vows Aaron chose for us were perfect. He talked about family and friendship.

 

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson

How do you plan a dream you never knew you had? You don't. Just let it happen. Relax. Smile and laugh.

Post-Holiday Hangover

There have been two times in my life that I can remember thinking about my life. Once, at the very end of my teens when I was pregnant with Mumbles and facing some very big decisions and now, at the beginning of my 30's with my life half lived. When I was at the end of my teens facing the beginning of my adult life and about to become responsible for another, I knew that I had to do some things differently. I couldn't skate by doing the minimum without goals or aspirations. I worked two, sometimes three jobs and went to school, missing out on time I wanted to spend with Mumbles', all the while thinking this would afford us more time together later. "Suck it up and plow through for now so that in a few years, I can get a regular 9 to 5 and make it up to her", I thought. More than 10 years later, I have a regular 9 to 5 except I have to leave at 7:15 to make the commute, to be there by 8 and then half an hour for lunch so I leave at 4:30 but the commute means I won't be home until 5 and then it takes half an hour to unwind because I literally hate every minute of it.


Now I know that some where out there, there's some nit-wit who read Eat Pray Love and is thinking to themselves, "Well if you don't like your life change it. If you hate your job, then quit." That is easier said than done since now I have student loans that have to be paid and a mortgage to make every month, not to mention the car payment, insurance and gas to drive back and forth to what I am convinced is God's way of punishing me for misbehaving from ages 15 to 18. All in search of the American Dream. Hadn't I wanted this? A house, a car, two kids and a fenced yard. I hated staying in apartments to be sure, but at least when I lived in them, I was home to live in them. Some days I go down to the basement, a room that was meant to be a place for us to relax and hang out as a family, and I don't recognize it. Some times I look at Mumbles and I don't recognize her. I still want to buy her Tinkerbell underwear but then I realize she's no longer a girls size, it makes me want to cry. "It could be worse. You could be living in a thatch hut and eating bugs while your friends and neighbors die of starvation or dysentery." True, that would be worse, but isn't there some place between spinning my wheels and starving? At least when I was 19 and thinking about my life, I had hope. Now, I feel so...stuck.


Don't think that I'm just sitting around feeling sorry for myself....I feel sorry for everyone! All of us who bought into the bigger, better, faster mentality that dominated the 80's only to have the reality of over-consuming come crashing down on our heads. And I really love my house and my family. In fact, I love them so much, I want more of them. I want to spend more time in my house with my family, not working to pay for things that do not make me happy. As for the things that I've already wasted my money on, I've decided if I don't love or need it, I'm not keeping it.

The End of Our Breastfeeding Journey

I didn't even realize it until it was over. I sat down to fold some laundry and realized Charlie hadn't nursed in a couple of days. The next time I offered, he looked at me like I was crazy. There was no discomfort from engorgement or tantrum tears; it was just over. Around his first birthday, I'd stopped pumping at work. Pumping not being my favorite thing and being nearly impossible at the insane job I was working. Charlie still nursed when we were together; at night and on the weekends. But as the nights went on, Charlie nursed shorter and shorter periods of time until eventually he just didn't nurse at all.

Like with many things, I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand I am glad that, hormonally speaking, I am feeling normal again. I don't have to think about what I'm wearing and how easy or difficult it might be to nurse in. On the other hand, I miss the time bonding with Charlie. I miss getting to take a 'time-out' when family gatherings got too overwhelming or I'm just tired and want to rest.

When I was pregnant with Charlie, I decided that I was going to nurse him as long as possible, in order to give him the best possible start in life. My goal was to exclusively breastfeed for the first 6 months, which we very nearly met. Shortly before he was 6 months, we started giving him a bit of rice cereal to try keep him satisfied during the day when I wasn't able to pump enough to keep up with him. We marched on to 1 year, Charlie getting a few ounces of formula to supplement. Now at nearly 15 months, he eats what we eat and goes through about 1 gallon and a half of whole milk per week. Overall, I feel good about our journey together even though this part of it is over a little sooner than I would have wished.

Elvis Has Left the Building

Exhibit A

A few months ago, Micha brought home a kitten that his parents found in our boat which we keep in their barn. He's a cute tuxedo kitten named Elvis but he is a holy terror (see exhibit A).

A few weeks ago Elvis disappear and we haven't seen him since. We've contacted our local animal control and posted his info. on a lost pet website. Obviously it's pretty cold and we are concerned. My hope is that he's wandered into someone else's home and he's warm and safe, terrorizing someone else's house plants. In fact, I think he frequently tried to make himself at home at our very gracious neighbors house on several occasions.

At any rate, if you've seen our holy terror...er....cuddly kitty, please let us know.

Elvis is a black and white male. He's been neutered and has a tattoo to prove it on his underside. He likes to snuggle, poops in house plants and will terrorize your dog.

Long time, no see

After a long hiatus, I think I'm ready to start blogging again. It's been several months and much has happened. Most recently for me, job changes...yes two in a matter of 6 1/2 months. The company I was working for was looking at having to lay some people off and so I accepted another Administrative Assistant position...or so I thought. Needless to say, things did not work out but it was a good experience. I learned a lot about myself and what I was capable of but also, it reminded me about the kind of life I want to have. I realized how easy it is to be seduced into believing that more money brings more happiness. I can tell you, at least for me, it's not true. That job was exhausting and began to take over my life. I spent less and less time with my family and more time trying to unwind from my increasingly stressful days. All the while I kept telling myself that if I stuck it out, the payoff would be worth it. Someday, I'd have a better position within the company, making more money. It satisfied the ambitious side of me that wants to compete and be professionally successful. I found myself looking at bigger houses and nicer cars. I had forgotten that none of those things would make me happy or truly fulfill me.

So I am working again as Administrative Assistant. The work is easy but there's plenty of it. I leave at the end of everyday and my work stays at work. I'm never late picking up Charlie and Micha and Mumbles are starting to recognize me again. A ton has happened. Charlie turned one, Mumbles whacked off all her hair, we got a new kitty and lost the new kitty, and Micha graduated...again. I'll do my best to fill in the gaps....yeah, I picked the busiest time of year to pick up blogging again. Obviously, I'm delirious.

The New Deal

In an effort to maintain my sanity, I tried to LIG with regards to the housework. What ensued was total chaos and disaster. It came to the point that at the end of the day, I wanted to go anywhere except home so I decided on a New Deal. I divided up most of chores I felt could easily be handled by the other members of our little family and wrote them down on scraps of paper and each week we draw for 5 chores. Everyone is responsible for completing their chores in a timely fashion. Doesn't matter how, just that they get done. If anyone flakes out, the family member who completes the chore is to be compensated for their time. No yelling, no endless list of mundane household tasks eating up entire weekends and no mess, right?! Wrong! In the first two weeks, I thought "This is going great! I have free time on my hands and the house is not a disaster area!" By the end of the third week, I realized I was the only one getting their chores done, everything else was just...not.

Now, the tantrum I threw certainly doesn't compare to this, but I think I made my point without assaulting any remote controls. Taking the laundry basket down to the basement and leaving it for a week does not count as 'doing' the laundry, nor does leaving it in the machine, or in the basket. If I have to hunt for my work clothes at 6 am, I'm bound to be unhappy and if I have to look in the backyard, Lily the Destroyer will wind up 'missing'. Moving the piles of crap from one end of the table to the other end is not 'straightening up' and the sink is not a lay over to the dishwasher! It isn't just the inconvenience that such chaos creates that bothers me. To me, this little family is everything. I'd do anything for them but for months I'd been asking for help and what I needed was being pushed off to the side, to be gotten around to, if they had the time. I decided I was taking back my free time. Not all of it; that would be impossible but a few minutes at the end of the day, an hour a week, whatever I could get. But I wasn't going to live like a pig either and I told them so. For Micha's part, he knew it was coming and he did his best to make it up to me, even sending me flowers after I'd been the one yelling. Mumbles' was a different story. Had I raised a lazy and unsympathetic child? It's funny how, in those rare moments when we see our children's faults, we immediately blame ourselves. She did come to understand that I wasn't just upset about the chores, but about her attitude toward Micha and myself in general. I was hard on her despite knowing it's, in part, her age. Maybe the problem is we've chalked too much of the 'tween attitude up to being a 'phase'. No matter what age a child is, they are still part of a family and as a family, it's just as important to work together to support each other as it is to spend quality time together doing 'fun' things. I wonder how other families accomplish this?

While I've relaxed my housekeeping standards, I still need to have a place to come home to and not see every undone thing glaring me in the face the second I walk through the door. We are still drawing for chores each week and everyone is doing a better job of pitching in. Hopefully, this New Deal will lead to more time for us to do some fun things as a family. If the weather holds out, we're hoping to enjoy the May Day festivities this weekend at Lanesfield Historic Site.